


A Family's Strugle

by WildHeartKara



Category: Fleetwood Mac fanfiction
Genre: Dleetwood Mac, Gen, Lindsey Buckingham - Freeform, Multi, Stevie Nicks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-01-26 05:51:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1677104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildHeartKara/pseuds/WildHeartKara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lindsey and Kristen Buckingham are hit with horrible news, how will they deal? Or will their family be torn apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Lindsey and Kristen find out horrible news about one of their children, how will they deal? Or will their family be torn apart?

A Family's Struggle  
Chapter 1  
When Lindsey rolled over and looked at the clock, he couldn't believe what time it was. Although, he knew that the clock on the nightstand had to be correct, because he heard his oldest children fighting over a poptart downstairs. He hated hearing them bicker over food.  
As he reluctantly got out of bed, Lindsey whispered something to himself that Kristen heard. "I aught to go down there and do what I do best when they fight over food."  
Kristen came up behind her husband and kkissed him. "And what's that?"  
"Jesus, Kristen, you scared the shit out of me," Lindsey said.  
Kristen wasn't at all sorry. "Just making sure you were awake, that's all," Kristen replied.  
Lindsey sighed. "Oh, you'll see."  
Kristen didn't know if she should be worried. Lindsey had a big smile on his face. "It's mine," Leelee said. You have eaten half the box. And you don't need to eat both."  
"Watch, Kristen. This is how to solve the problem," Lindsey said still smiling. Lindsey grabbed the pop tart and began eating it. "Kristen, would you like the other one?"  
Kristen never knew that was how her husband handled situations like that. Even though she never ate them, she thought that she would do it so Will and Leelee didn't fight over the last one in the pack. "Sure," she said.  
Will looked at his mother in surprise. He knew that Lindsey would do that, but he never expected Kristen to eat a pop tart. She usually just took whatever was being fraught over away from them. "You never eat those, Mom."  
Leelee knew exactly whyb their mother did it. "Are you an idiot, Will?"  
Lindsey and Kristen never tolerated name calling, so as soon as that came out of their daughter's mouth, Kristen immediately said something. "Stop with the name calling right now, young lady. Do you hear me?"  
"Sorry," Leelee said. But you are only eating that because we were fighting over it."  
Lindsey looked around the room. "Where is Stella?"  
"Watching TV, Lee-lee said.  
Lindsey went to get Stella to see what she wanted for breakfast. "Hey, baby. What do you want to eat for breakfast?"  
Stella turned the TV off. "I had a pop tart when I came downstairs."  
"Okay," Lindsey said. Do you have everything ready for school, honey?"  
"Yeah," Stella told her father.  
Lindsey noticed something about his youngest daughter that didn't seem quite right. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"  
Stella didn't want to tell her father what was bothering her because she thought that there was no point in saying anything. Nothing would change. Things wouldn't be any different if She had told her parents how she felt. But now, there were tears in the little girl's eyes. Lindsey would be leaving for tour with Fleetwood Mac soon, and Stella hated the thought of that. She hated when her daddy was gone. "It's nothing, really."  
Even though Lindsey didn't believe his daughter, he had to let it go for the time being.  
After all three of the kids left for school, Lindsey decided that he needed to talk to Kristen about Stella. He thought that it might have something to do with the fact that he was going to be leaving. He knew that the kids had a hard time when he was gone.  
Lindsey sat down at the kitchen table across from Kristen. She could tell by the look on her husband's face that something was bothering him. "What's wrong, Lindsey?"  
Lindsey sighed. "I'm worried about Stella. She was in tears this morning, but she wouldn't tell me what was upsetting her."  
"I can probably guess what the problem is," Kristen said.  
"Well, what do you think it is?"  
"Out of all of our children, Stella seems to get more upset when you leave," Kristen answered.  
That made Lindsey feel horrible. "Oh, God. I feel horrible."  
Kristen knew how much Lindsey loved them. "It's alright, baby. It isn't your fault. We've always made things work, and we'll continue to do so," Kristen tried to reassure Lindsey.  
Lindsey loved his wife for trying to make him feel better, but it didn't help at all. "I know, but maybe after this tour I should retire. I miss you guys so much when I'm gone."  
Kristen was silent for a long moment. "Honey, you really need to think about this. You'll change your mind when you get back out on the road. I know you will."  
Lindsey couldn't believe how certain Kristen seemed about about what he really wanted to do.  
Kristen got up from the table. "I gotta get to work. I love you."  
Lindsey got up and gave Kristen a quick kiss before she left. "I love you, too. Have a good day, baby."  
After Kristen left, Lindsey sat thinking. He had been thinking about retiring for a while. He just didn't know how to tell Kristen. And when he was approached about doing a Fleetwood Mac tour, he thought that this would be his last tour.


	2. Chapter 2

A Familys Struggle  
Chapter 2  
When the kids got home from school, Lindsey decided that he needed to talk to Stella about that morning. He was extremely worried about her. He loved all of his children, and he hated to see any of them upset about something.  
"Hey, guys. How was your day?"  
Stella was the first to speak. "Fine. I have homework."  
Will was quick to speak next. "Can I go to Brandon's? I don't have any homework."  
Lindsey's answer was even faster. "No, you aren't going anywhere. Your mother and I need to talk to you when she gets home from work."  
That angered Will. He wanted to go to his friend's house for a reason. He had something to do.  
Lindsey noticed that Leelee didn't say anything when they got home. He realized that all of his children needed to talk. Although he knew exactly what the conversation was going to be about when he and Kristen talked to Will. He just didn't know if he should wait to talk to Leelee until Kristen got home. He decided to just talk to her.  
"You alright, Lee?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine."  
Lindsey sat down beside his oldest daughter. "Are you sure you don't want to talk?"  
Leelee knew that she would have to tell at least one of her parents what was bothering her. "Well, I have something from school that you need to sign, and I just didn't want to tell you."  
Lindsey didn't think that it could be that bad. "What is it, sweetheart?"  
Leelee began to cry as she handed her father a Math test that she got a D on. "Here. I'm sorry, Daddy."  
Leelee always got very upset if she got a bad grade. Lindsey rapped his arm around his daughter. "It's alright, Leelee. I'm not upset with you, and I know your mom won't be either."  
Leelee knew that her parents wouldn't be upset with her because she always got good grades. That was why she would get so upset when she did get a bad grade. All of the kids had gotten decent grades until about a year ago when Will's grades started to drop. But Leelee had really been struggling with Math in the past few months. "I really thought that I got a good grade. I felt like I knew most of the answers when I took the test."  
Lindsey couldn't help but wonder if part of Leelee's problem was test anxiety. When she did her homework, she usually did pretty well. "It's okay," Lindsey said.  
Just then, they heard Kristen come in. "Hey, guys. Am I interrupting something?"  
Lindsey looked at Leelee, then at Kristen. "No, you aren't interrupting. Lee needs to talk to you. I need to go talk to Stella."  
Lindsey left Kristen and their daughter to talk, and he went up to Stella's room where she was sitting on her bed crying.  
Lindsey sat down beside her and took her in his arms. That only made her cry harder.  
Once she calmed down, Lindsey sat her back down on her bed next to him. "Hey, baby. What's wrong?"  
Stella didn't know what to say to get out of that situation. She couldn't say that she was fine now. Not with what had just happened. "Well, I just hate it when you're gone. I miss you so much."  
Lindsey took his daughter in his arms and began stroking her hair. "Oh, Stella, I always miss you, too. You guys are my whole world."  
Stella never thought that Lindsey felt that way. "Really?"  
Lindsey squeezed Stella tight. "Yes, really, goofball."  
Lindsey was happy to now see a smile on his daughter's face. "Oh, yeah. Daddy, what is this?"  
Stella handed her father a small baggy with a white powder inside. Lindsey immediately knew what it was, but he just couldn't believe that his 10-year-old daughter was asking him what it was. "Don't worry about it, baby. Are you going to be alright?"  
"Yeah."  
"We'll go and do something by ourselves before I leave, okay?"  
That made Stella extremely happy. "Yeah!"  
Lindsey left his daughter's room and went to find his wife. They needed to talk about what had just happened. He realized that he had forgotten to ask Stella where she had found the bag. So he went and asked her before going to find Kristen. "Hey, Stella, where did you find that bag?"  
Stella looked up from her book. "It was on the floor in between Will and Leelee's room.  
"Thank you, Stella."  
Stella still wanted to know what it was, but she could see that it upset her dad when she gave it to him. "Yep."  
After gong back to ask Stella where she had found the bag, an infuriated Lindsey went to look for Kristen. They had to talk about it, and they needed to talk now.


	3. Chapter 3

A Family's Struggle  
Chapter 3  
When Lindsey came downstairs, he found Kristen making dinner. He wondered how he could tell Kristen what their daughter had found upstairs in their hallway. He, himself, had suddenly lost his appetite. He knew that once Kristen found out what's Duller had found upstairs, she would as well. But Lindsay also knew that he couldn't wait to tell Kristen until after dinner. He went up to his wife and kissed her on the cheek. "Hey, baby. We need to talk, and we need to talk right now, Kristen."  
Kristen knew that something was really bothering Lindsey because he never acted that way. "What's the matter, Lindsey?"  
Lindsey laved the small bag on the kitchen counter for Kristen to look at. He still couldn't believe what had just happened upstairs. "Stello foulness upstairs in the hallway in between Will and Leelee's rooms. "  
Kristen just stood staring at the bag for a long moment before speaking again. She had no idea what was in the bag, but she could tell by the look on her husband's face that he knew exactly what it was. "What is that, Lindsey?"  
Lindsey hated the fact that he had to answer that question. He didn't want to tell his wife that he thought one of their own children was using drugs. But the truth was, that was what Lindsey thought. "I think it's cocaine, Kristen. I'm sorry."  
Kristen was speechless for a long moment. She didn't know what to think. She asked herself which of her children she thought could be doing cocaine. The answer then became clear to her. It was her son. "How did we not see this? As parents, how did we not see this?"  
Lindsey felt awful. He couldn't blame Kristen because it wasn't her fault. "Well, if you want to blame someone, blame me, Kristen. I should have been the one to really see it. I lived around it and did it for years," Lindsey said.  
Kristen knew what her husband was getting at. It really wasn't either of their faults that they did't see it. "You're right. When do we talk to Will about this?"  
Lindsey didn't speak for a long moment. "Well, let's just talk to him after dinner."  
Kristen agreed and finished making dinner. As she cooked, she couldn't help but wonder why people did it. Why people did drugs. She called Lindsey back into the kitchen. "Honey, I have a question."  
"What?"  
Kristen sighed before asking. "Why did you do cocaine?"  
Lindsey thought for a moment. "Wel, everyone else seemed to be doing it. So I just started doing it. It also gave me a lot of energy which I needed. Why?"  
"Just curious."  
There was an awkward silence during dinner. Except the kids hadno idea why.  
After dinner, Kristen called Will back downstairs so she and Lindsey could talk to him. "Will, come down here right now."  
Lindsey just stared at his son for a long moment before speaking. "Look at me, Will."  
"What," Will asked not knowing what was going on.  
Kristen had to hold back tears. "There was a little bag on the floor by your room. Would you please tell your dad and I what it was?"  
Will got a worried look on his face. "What do you mean, was? What did you guys do with it? It's mine. I want it back."  
"It's gone. Your mom and I threw it out. Tell us what it is right now."  
The look on Lindsey and Kristen's son's face turned into anger. Will looked straight at his father. "You should know. You did it for years. It's not a big deal."  
Lindsey didn't get a chance to speak before Kristen spoke. "It's not okay, honey."  
"Where are you getting it," Lindsey asked.  
"I won't rat my friends out, Will replied raising his voice."  
Kristen and Lindsey both assumed that Will had gotten the cocaine from Austin. A kid that they didnn't want Will hanging out with. "You will be going to the doctor to make sure you're alright," Kristen said.  
Lindsey didn't know what to say. Will ran upstairs, and Lindsey and Kristen sat in the living room both wondering where they had gone wrong. But they kept telling each other that it was nothing that they did or didn't do.


	4. Chapter 4

A Family's Struggle  
Chapter 4  
That next morning, Kristen called to make a doctors appontment for her son. She and Lindsey were both still in shock over finding out that their son was doing cocaine. How could that be possible that her son could be doing drugs? He was a good kid. At least that was what she had been telling herself. Lindsey, too, felt the same way. He did have to admit, however, that Will had been acting a lot like him when he used drugs. Lindsey wasn't trying to compare the two, but he couldn't help but think it.  
After hanging up with the pediatrition's office, Kristen went to talk to Lindsey. He was sitting in their living rom watching TV. Yes, Kristen was upset about Will doing cocaine. But what was her husband feeling? "Hey, Lindsey, I got Will a doctor's appointment for after school."  
Lindsey looked up at his wife. "Alright. We'll just pick him up."  
Kristen didn't tell their son that was the plan, so he wouldn't be looking out for them. So, they couldn't go pick him up from school. "I couldn't call the doctor until 8, so we'll just have to hope he gets home in time."  
That was all they could really do because Will's appointment was at 2:45 that afternoon.  
Lindsey couldn't help but wonder if Will had started doing drugs because of him. He then tried to get those thoughts out of his mind. Because, what could have he done for his son to start using cocaine? There was no excuse as to why Will should be doing drugs.  
Some hours later, all of the kids got home from school. Kristen and Lindsey were dreading that moment. They didn't want to have to take one of their children to the doctor for a check-up because of drugs. The truth was that Kristen and Lindsey were both ashamed of what was going on.  
When Lindsey told Will that he and Kristen were taking him to the doctor, he was less than pleased. He didn'tthink his parents were really serious when they told him that he would be going to the doctor. Because his parents may have found out that he was doing cocaine at home, but he really thought that he could do it when he wasn't at home without getting caught.  
"I don't want to go. I'm fine. I don't need to go to the doctor," Will said.  
Lindsey looked at his son with the feelings of anger, worry and disappointment. "You're going, and that's final."  
William Buckingham knew right then that he was going, and not to further anger his father. It wasn't that Lindsey was mean, but he certainly wasn't a person that you would want to make mad.  
After hearing what the doctor said, Will still seemed unaffected. Doctor Bennett told Will all of the risks of using cocaine, and then she gave him a drug test.  
After giving Will the drug test, Dr. Bennett went to talk to Kristen and Lindsey. She gave them a lot of information on different drug rehab programs.  
Everyone was silent on the drive home, but all for different reasons.


	5. Chapter 5

A Family's Struggle  
Chapter 5  
As the days passed, Kristen seemed to want to try and ignore the fact that her son had been using cocaine. Lindsey didn't know what to do. They all had to deal with it. But it seemed as if he was the only one who was doing so. He just didn't know how to make Kristen see that they had a really big problem.  
When the kids got home from school, Lindsey was a bit surprised to see that Will hadn't been with the girls. "Hey, girls. How was your day?"  
"Good," both of them said in unison.  
"Will isn't with you two," Lindsey asked, then concerned.  
Leelee put her book bag down and sat down at their kitchen table. "Nope."  
Lindsey then began to really worry. He and Kristen had told Will that he was grounded indefinitely until further notice. But now, Lindsey had no idea where his son could be. "Okay. Do you habve any homework, Leelee," Lindsey asked his oldest daughter.  
Leelee could see the worry in her father's eyes. "Yeah."  
Lindsey then looked at his youngest daughter. "What about you, Stella?"  
"Yes, I do."  
Stella then went upstairs.  
Lindsey knew that when Leelee did her homework downstairs, it meant that she usually needed help. "Do you need help, honey?"  
Leelcee never lied when she needed help with school work, but she knew that her dad had to figure out where her brother was. She didn't think he needed to worry about helping her. "No. I don't need any help."  
Lindsey didn't know what to do. He knew that his daughter was lying to him. "Leelee, I'll help you in a little bit. Honey, just please don't lie."  
Leelee felt bad for doing it, but she just wanted her father to find her brother. She, herself, wanted to kill him for what he had been doing. There was a bit of information that she knew that her parents should know. "Daddy, there is something that I think you should know. Will and Brandon and Will aren't friends anymore."  
Lindsey didn't know what to say at first. He sat beside his daughter thinking. "When did you find this out, Leelee?"  
"I saw him today, and he told me that they haven't been friends since last school year."  
"How did Kristen and I not see this," Lindsey thought. "Okay, baby. Thank you."  
Kristen walked in before anything else could be said. But Lindsey and Leelee didn't even hear her come in. "Is there anything else that I should know, Lee?"  
"No."  
They both looked up and saw Kristen. "Why don't you go up and get a start on your homework."  
Without saying another word, Leelee got up from the kitchen table, taking her book bag with her.  
After Leelee left, Lindsey then told his wife everything that their daughter had just told him. It then dawned on Kristen. She finally realized what had been going on. She realized that she could no longer ignore the problem.  
Before Kristen could say anything, there was a loud knock on their front door and a voice yelling, "help! Help! Help! Please help! It's Will."


	6. Chapter 6

A Family's Struggle  
Chapter 6  
As soon as Lindsey and Kristen heard those words, they went running toward their front door to see what was going on with Will. When Lindsey opened the door, he and his wife were a bit surprised to see Brandon. "What's wrong, Brandon," Kristen asked, worried.  
The boy could barely speak. "It's Will. He fell, and he isn't getting up. He isn't waking up. He's shaking now."  
"Oh, God, Lindsey thought. "Where is he?"  
Brandon walked them to where their son was still convulsing. Kristen told Brandon to go home, and Lindsey called paramedics. That was all they could do for the time being.  
Lindsey went back in the house to talk to the girls and to call his sister-in-law, Danielle to see if she could come sit with them. After doing so, Lindsey went back outside with Kristen.  
By the time Lindsey came back outside, Will had stopped convulsing. Kristen and Lindsey agreed that if the medics would allow one of them to ride to the hospital, she would go with them.  
It seemed like an eternity to Lindsey and Kristen before the paramedics arrived. They just had to hope that Will would be alright.  
Daniee arrived just as paramedics left. Lindsey didn't explain much, but she knew that he couldn't at the time.  
When Limdsey got to the hospital, he saw Kristen waiting in the waiting room. He ran up to her and asked if they knew anything yet. "Have they come out at all?"  
Kristen took a deep vreath, trying to hold back tears. "No, they haven't come out yet. Lindsey, I'm really scared. What if he verso des on cocaine?"  
Lindsey was silent for a long moment. "You did tell the doctors about his cocaine use, right?"  
Kristen looked at her husband, now upset at the fact that she thought that he would ever think that she'd keep that information from their son's doctors. "Yes, I told them, Lindsey."  
Not long after, a doctor came out to talk to the Buckingham's. She looked like she was in her late twenties. As she came closer, Kristen and Lindsey knew that the news wasn't good. "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Buckingham. I'm Dr. Martin. Can you please come with me so we can speak in private?"  
Will's parents got up and followed to doctor into a small room. Once they all sat down, Dr. Martin gave the Buckingham's the news. "I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but William overdosed on cocaine."  
Kristen looked at Dr. Martin in disbelief. "But he'll be alright? Please tell me that he's going to be okay."  
Lindsey knew that wasn't the case. "How bad is it Dr. Martin?"  
"I'm so sorry, but your son didn't make it."  
Kristen began to scream. "No, no, no, no! He can't be dead. He just can't be."  
She and Lindsey both broke into sobs as he took her in his arms. "It's okay, baby. It's okay."  
Dr. Martin hated that part of her job. "I'll leave you guys alone."  
Kristen took a deep breath and broke from her husband's embrace. "I want to see him."  
"Okay." Dr. Martin lead them to a room where their son's lifeless body was still lying on the hospital bed. Kristen just stared at her son for a long moment. She couldn't believe what happened. How could their oldest child be dead?


	7. Chapter 7

A Family's Struggle  
Chapter 7  
Lindsey and Kristen were both completely silent on their drive back home. When Lindsey pulled into their driveway, they didn't want to go into the house.  
When Lindsey and Kristen walked into the house, Leelee was waiting with Danielle. It was then around 11:30, and she should have already been in bed asleep. Upon seeing her daughter, Kristen ran upstairs and closed she and Lindsey's bedroom door. Lindsey knew that he had to just tell Leelee what was going on. He had to tell Danielle. He was just hoping to talk to Leelee and Stella with Kristen.  
Lindsey sat down beside his daughter on the couch and put his arm around her. "Hey, guys."  
"Where's Will," Leelee asked.  
Lindsey sighed before speaking again. Danielle knew that it couldn't be good. "What happened, Lindsey," Danielle asked.  
"Will overdosed on cocaine."  
Tears filled his daughter's eyes. "But he's gonna be okay, right?"  
Lindsey took Leelee in his arms. "No, sweetheart. Will didn't make it."  
Leelee knew what that meant. "He died? You mean, he's dead?"  
Lindsey found himself holding back tears, but he knew that he had to be strong for his daughter. "I'm sorry, baby."  
Leelee sobbed uncontrollably in her father's arms. She and her brother weren't that close, but they did love one another.  
Realizing that she could do nothing for Lindsey and Leelee, Danielle went upstairs to see if she could do anything for Kristen. She couldn't imagine loosing Corey like that. Corey was everything to Danielle. She was her only child, and they were as close as any mother and daughter could get.  
When Danielle knocked on Kristen and Lindsey's bedroom door, she got no response. Out of worry, she decided to go ahead and open their door.  
When Danielle entered the room, she found Kristen in bed, crying. She sat down beside her and took her hand in hers. "Hey, honey," Danielle said in a soothing tone."  
Kristen sat up and stopped crying. "Hi, Danielle. I assume Lindsey told you what happened?"  
"Yeah, and he's still talking with Lee."  
"Lindsey is probably so angry with me for running up here like I did."  
"I don't think he's mad, Kristen. Can I get you anything?"  
Kristen loved Danielle, and she did make her feel a little bit better. "No. I'm just exhausted. Will you please tell Lindsey that we'll both talk to Stella in the morning?"  
"Sure. Try and get some sleep. Call me if you need anything."  
"Thanks."  
And with that, Danielle walked out of the room and closed the door very quietly.  
As Danielle was headed downstairs, she saw Lindsey coming out of his daughter's room. "Thanks for everything, Danielle, Lindsey told her.  
"You're welcome, Lindsey. If you guys need anything, call me. Okay?"  
Lindsey agreed, and Danielle left. Lindsey knew that there was no way that he could tour. He was just going to have to tell them that he couldn't do it. But he also knew Mick would say that they could just wait for a while, but he was done. He wanted and needed to retire.


	8. Chapter 8

A Family's Struggle  
Chapter 8  
As the days passed, the Buckinghams had to plan a funeral for their oldest child. It had only been three days since Will's passing, but to Kristen, it felt like an eternity.  
Stella and Leelee didn't really want to talk about what had happened. They tried to ignore the entire situation. They didn't want to admit the fact that their brother was really dead. They were all having a difficult time talking about the fact that Will had died.  
Kristen and Lindsey finally got Will's funeral arrangements made. Lindsey felt that he had to be strong for his family. He did his best to hide how he was feeling to everyone.  
At midnight, Stella came downstairs. She had heard the Tv on, and she couldn't sleep. When Lindsey saw his daughter, he turned the TV off. "Hey, Stella. Did I wake you up, baby?"  
The truth was that Stella couldn't sleep. She hadn't really been able to sleep very well since her brother died. "No. I just can't sleep. Why are you awake, Daddy?"  
Lindsey was quiet for a long moment before answering his youngest daughter. "Same reason as you, sweetheart. I guess we both have a lot on our minds, don't we?"  
Stella looked at her father, not sure that she should ask or not. She didn't want to further upset him, but she wanted to know. So, she decided that she would just ask and hope it didn't make things worse. "Daddy, why did Will do drugs?"  
Lindsey had no clue as to how to answer that question. "I don't know, honey. I wish I knew."  
Stella could see the sadness in her father's eyes. She missed her.brother so much. She wished things were different.  
It was also very apparent to all of them that Kristen was pulling away from all of them, including Stella and Leelee. Kristen hadn't been grieving with them. She had been grieving for the loss of her son alone. Lindsey didn't know what to do for his family.  
Lindsey stroked his daughter's hair. "I think we better go to bed, princess."  
"Okay."  
After getting Stella back in bed, Lindsey crept into his own room and got in bed with Kristen. Will's calling hours were that next night. Lindsey laid in bed next to Kristen, wondering how they were going to make it through it. He questioned how they would make it without their son.  
Kristen awoke shortly after her husband got in bed. She knew that she had been leaving him to do everything that the girls needed, and she knew that it wasn't fair. But she didn't know how to deal. "Lindsey, are you awake"  
Lindsey rolled over to face Kristen. "Yeah. Do you need something?"  
Kristen hadn't left their bedroom in the past two days. Lindsey didn't know what to do. "No. Why was Stella awake," Kristen asked.  
Lindsey sighed. "She just couldn't sleep. She asked me why Will would do drugs."  
"What did you tell her"  
"I told her that I didn't know why he started using drugs because we don't know why. I do think we both need to talk to Stella and Leelee about what has happened. I know we all grieve in different ways, Kristen, but we have to take care of our daughters who need us. We aren't going to be able to get through this without each other, Kristen. We need each other."  
Kristen knew that Lindsey was right. She felt so alone. Maybe she wouldn't feel so alone if she shared her grief with her family. "I'm so so sorry, Linds."  
"It's okay, angel. We'll make it through this somehow."  
Kristen had no idea how their family would get passed them loosing their oldest child, but she put her faith in her husband.  
Kristen promised Lindsey that she would talk to the girls the next morning, and she and her husband both fell into a restless sleep for the rest of the night.


	9. Chapter 9

A Family's Struggle  
Chapter 9  
Lindsey was the first person in the house to get up the next morning. He really hoped that Kristen would keep true to her word and talk to the girls, but Lindsey questioned it.  
He knew what pain his wife was in. He was in the same agony. He wanted them to deal with Will's passing together, not separately. They all needed each other. They couldn't get through it in the way that things were going. Lindsey wanted to make it all go away. But he knew that he couldn't.  
Stella and Leelee came downstairs a short time after Lindsey. "Hey, Daddy," Stella said.  
"Hey, honey. How did you sleep for the rest of the night?"  
"Okay. Daddy, I have a question about Will's calling hours and funeral."  
Lindsey couldn't imagine where the conversation was going. "What, sweetheart?"  
"Do I have to go? I don't want to, Stella answered.  
Lindsey didn't know what to say to his daughter. They had all been going through a lot, but he didn't expect that. "How could you not want to go, Leelee asked, angry at her sister for not wanting to go to their brother's calling hours and funeral. "How could you not want to?"  
Lindsey gave his daughter a look that said be quiet. "We're all going, Stella. I think you should go."  
Stella looked surprised. "Well, Mommy told me that I could stay at home with her."  
Lindsey was angered by what his daughter had just told him. That was news to him. "Okay, girls. Can you get yourselves some breakfast. I'm going up to talk to your mom."  
Leelee looked terrified. "Okay. They'll go, right, Daddy?"  
Lindsey patted his daughter on the arm. "I'll be upstairs, honey."  
As he went upstairs, Lindsey couldn't figure out what he wanted to say to his wife. The mother of his children.  
When he walked into their vbedroom, Lindsey was shocked at what he was seeing. Kristen was packing. "What are you doing, Kristen? Where are you going?"  
Kristen was startled by the words of her husband. She hadn't heard him come in. She was too busy packing. "Oh, Lindsey, I didn't hear you come in."  
"We need to talk right now, Kristen. What is all of this? Did you also tell Stella that she could go with you wherever it is that you are packing to leave for?"  
Kristen's eyes filled with tears. "No, Lindsey. I didn't tell Stella that. And I really don't know where I'm going. I just know that I can't stay here. I told Stella that she didn't have to go. I'll ..."  
Lindsey cut his wife off. "You're seriously leaving? What about your daughters that need you. What about me."  
Lindsey knew that was a very selfish thing to say, but he couldn't help but say it. Kristen loved her family, but she felt that she couldn't handle the situation that was going on. She felt that her son's death was somehow her fault. "I'm sorry, Lindsey. I just can't handle it. It was my fault. It has to be. I didn't want to deal with the fact that our child could do drugs. I can't stay here."  
Lindsey was utterly shocked at what he was hearing from the mother of his children. "You cannot be serious, Kristen. Wasn't it you who told me that none of what had happened was my fault. Why don't we just sit here and blame each other. We need each other right now. Those girls need both of us. Not just me, not just you. We all lost him, Kristen."  
Kristen was speechless. She knew that they all lost Will, but she wanted to just tear herself away from the entire situation. "I'm so sorry Linds. I'll go."  
Lindsey knew that Kristen was only going out of guilt, but he said nothing. He thoughtt that she should be at her son's services. It wasn't like he wanted to go either. But as awilliam's parents', what choice did they really have?  
Kristen and the girls were extremely quiet during the calling hours. Neither of them wanted to go to the funeral.  
The next morning, Lindsey awoke with a note on he and Kristen's nightstand that read, "Lindsey, I had to leave. I just can't take it. Please keep the funeral arrangements for today. But I won't be back. I want you to know how much I love all of you. Please tell Stella and Leelee how much I love them. I love all of you. I am so sorry that things turned out this way. I love you, baby.  
Love always,  
Kristen"


	10. Chapter 10

A Family's Struggle  
Chapter 10  
After reading the note that Kristen left on Lindsey's nightstand, he quietly closed the bedroom door. He went back and got in bed. He buried his face in his pillow and began to sob.  
Before he knew it, he heard a knock on the door. Lindsey lifted his head from the tear stained pillow and tried to catch his breath. "Yeah?"  
"Daddy, are you alright?"  
Lindsey could tell that Leelee sounded really concerned about him. "I'm fine. I'll be down in a few minutes."  
Leelee wasn't convinced at all. She could tell that her father's voice was extremely shaky. She wanted to know where Kristen went. "Okay," was all the more Lindsey's daughter said before going downstairs.  
Lindsey tried to do his best to compose himself before going downstairs to talk to his daughters. He didn't know what he was going to say to them about Kristen. He hated the fact that he had to tell his daughters that their mother wouldn't be at Will's funeral. Let alone telling them what else Kristen's note said.   
When Lindsey got downstairs, Stella and Leelee were watching TV. He sat down on the recliner across from them. "Girls, we need to talk."  
"What," Stella asked.  
"Please turn the TV off, Lee."  
Lindsey then decided to go and sit on the couch and gestured for his daughters to come sit with him. "Come sit with me, girls."  
Both of them went to sit next to their father. One on each side of Lindsey. "Where is Mom," Leelee asked, worried. She didn't think that her mom would really go out unless it was necessary. Lindsey knew that this was the moment of truth. "You're mom left early this morning. She left a note on the nightstand that said that she wasn't going to be here for your brother's funeral."  
Before their father could say another word, Stella began to cry. "Why isn't Mommy going to be here? Doesn't she want to say good-bye to Will, Daddy?"  
Lindsey didn't know what to say. He figured that he should just tell them the truth. "I really don't know why your mom isn't here. But she does love you."  
Leelee was so angry at her mother. She also knew that Lindsey wasn't telling them everything. "What aren't you telling us, Dad?"  
Lindsey was hoping to keep the rest of the information to himself. He didn't want to further upset his girls if Kristen just needed to have some time to herself and came back home. Lindsey was praying that was the case, but he knew Leelee. She would've give up until she knew the rest of what was going on. Lindsey sighed before speaking again. He knew that this was going to really upset them, understandably so. But Lindsey hated the fact that Stella and Leelee would have to go through this difficult time without their mother. "Your mom said that she isn't coming back."  
Stella looked very confused. "But why?"  
"I really don't know, Stella. Your mom hasn't taken things well at all, sweetheart."  
Leelee was so angry at her mother. She wanted Kristen there with them. "How could Mom do this to all of us, Leelee asked. She didn't want to deal with the situation anymore than the rest of them. "Mom is so damn selfish, Daddy."  
Lindsey wanted to scold his daughter for her language, but he didn't have the strength. He felt the same way. He couldn't imagine being abandoned by a parent. "I'm so sorry, girls. Let's just hope your mom just needs some time alone."  
Lee didn't want to hear anymore of what her father had to say. She ran upstairs and slammed her bedroom door and didn't come out until they had to leave for the funeral.  
Stella was na afraid that now that herb mother was gone that Lindsey would leave, too. She felt so alone.


	11. Chapter 11

(Conclusion)

Author's note: If anyone would like to see anymore works from me, please speak up. I don't want to post where I'm not getting any feedback. Thank you. AFamily's Struggle  
Chapter 11  
The funeral was agonizing for all of them. When Danielle had asked Lindsey where Kristen was, Lindsey just told her that Kristen said she couldn't handle being there. It was the truth. Lindsey just didn't tell her everything. And to Lindsey's surprise, neither of the girls had said anything.  
After Will's funeral, Lindsey took the girls home. They had gotten so much food from people that they felt overwhelmed.  
That evening when the doorbell rang, Lindsey hesitated before getting up. He didn't want to see anyone, and they surely weren't expecting anyone. But he thought better of it than to ignore it.   
When he opened the front door, Lindsey was a bit surprised to see who it was. "Stevie."  
"Hey, Lindsey."  
Lindsey then noticed the pan in her arms. "More food. Just what we need," Lindsey thought to himself. "Come in. Oh, God. What's that?"  
"Sara made Pasta Bake, and I thought you guys would eat it."  
Lindsey knew that the girls loved it. They all did, but it was extremely hard for any of them to eat when none of them had any appetite whatsoever. "Thanks a lot, Stevie."  
"Where is Kristen," Stevie asked. She was extremely shocked that Kristen hadn't been at her own son's funeral.  
Lindsey took a deep breath and tried to hold back tears. "Kristen left this morning, and she said that she isn't coming back. I don't know what I'm going to do."  
Stevie felt awful for the Buckingham's. She couldn't imagine what Lindsey must have been going through. "Did you try talking to her?"  
"She left a note on our nightstand saying that she was leaving, and she wasn't coming back," Lindsey said sadly. "I found her packing yesterday morning, but I really thought that she listened to me when I told her that we all needed each other." Lindsey could no longer hold back tears.  
Stevie couldn't believe that Kristen left her family. She, herself, thought that Kristen would come home. All Stevie could do was be there for Lindsey and the girls. She put her arms around him and told him to let the tears flow. "It's gonna be alright, Linds. You will get through this. You and the girls will get through it somehow."  
Lindsey felt so comforted by Stevie. He didn't know how he was going to get through the loss of his son, and now, he no longer had his wife to grieve with. Even though he had so many people saying that they would help with whatever he or his family needed, he still felt so alone. "Thanks, Stevie. I think I just need to try and go to bed."  
"Okay. Can I do anything before I leave?"  
"No, thanks. I'm just gonna check on the girls and go to bed."  
After saying their good-bye's, Stevie left. She was still shocked at what Lindsey had told her. She wasn't a parent, but she wondered how someone who loved her family so much could leave them. All she knew was that Lindsey and his girls would need all of the support that they could get.  
When Lindsey went upstairs to check on Stella and Leelee, they were both already asleep. He was somewhat surprised at that. He thoughthat he should try and do the same.  
When Lindsey woke up the next morning, he was surprised to realize that he had actually slept the entire night, which he hadn't expected.  
As he got out of bed, he heard the girls downstairs. He knew that he had to go down and talk to them, but he was afraid they'd ask if he had heard from their mother. He didn't want to have to tell them that, but he knew that he might have to. He hated disappointing his children.  
As soon as he got downstairs, Stella asked. "Hi, Daddy. Has Mommy called you?"  
Lindsey sighed as he sat down at their kitchen table with them. "No, honey, she hasn't. I'm sorry."  
Leelee spoke next. "It's obvious then that Mom doesn't care about us anymore. Because of what our stupid brother did, now, Mom doesn't care about us. Otherwise, Mom would still be here."  
Lindsey couldn't quite blame his daughter for the things that she had just said. "I'm so sorry, girls."  
"I tried calling her," Leelee said with sadness in her eyes. "We lost both of them, and it's Will's fault. He isn't even here to take the blame for what he did either."  
"Lee, stop." Lindsey knew that he had to draw the line somewhere with his daughter. " I'm just being honest. Mom did leave because of Will."  
Lindsey knew that his daughter was right about that, but blaming someone wasn't going to make things any better or change what happened. "Let's not put blame on anyone. It won't change anything. I'm sorry that things are going the way that they are, but there is nothing that can change what has happened."  
Of course, Leelee knew that her dad was right. "I'm sorry, Dad. It just makes me so angry that Mom's not here with us."  
Lindsey and his daughters talked about it for a while longer. They had all decided that it was best not to talk about it if people were going to get blamed. Lindsey said that they were going to try counseling for a while. Lindsey knew that he had to keep his family afloat, and that was the only way he knew that he could. At least, they could try..


End file.
